Managing toddler tantrums calmly

A tantrum is not misbehaviour. It is a small nervous system that has run out of runway, asking a bigger nervous system to help it land.

The most useful thing you can do in the middle of a meltdown is almost nothing — lower your voice, soften your face, and stay close.

Language rarely helps in the storm. Presence does. Save the words for the calm that follows.

Afterwards, name what you saw — not what they did wrong. "That was so big. You were so upset about the shoes." This teaches a child that feelings can be witnessed, not just corrected.

And be gentle with the parent version of yourself who lost it too. Co-regulation is a practice, not a performance.